White Wedding

Yesterday, I was up early (nothing unusual) to get myself ready to attend the wedding of our school’s Administrative Clerk (aka Main Office Secretary) and one of the grade 6 teachers. The whole event was a pretty big deal since they planned both a traditional ceremony and a modern ceremony, called a White Wedding (which I was told by a teacher is called this because the bride wears a white dress, not because the idea came from white people.)

I met my principal at the Shoprite in town so she could drive me to the hall where the whole event would take place. Quick side note: despite the many discussions we had about this plan, I was still totally unclear as to when she was going to pick me up. I kept asking for a time, and she would say things like, when I am done getting ready I will come to the Shoprite, or when the taxi drops you off give me a call. Yes, well, those parts seem obvious, but what TIME should we aim for those things to happen. Turns out it didn’t matter. In the end, I got to town, went to the bank to do my one errand, and just as I was finished, she called to say she was there to pick me up. I guess I really should have learned at this point to stop worrying about those types of things. Back to the story. When I met her in the car (around 10am) she said it was best for us to buy some chips (aka fries) as there was no telling what the day would bring and when we would next eat. Good call. After we finished our “snack” we were off to the community hall where the entire event (ceremony and reception) took place.

The ceremony and reception hall.

As soon as I walked in, I knew I was in for something pretty spectacular. Nearly everything I noticed paralleled a wedding I had been to in America at some point, but it also included that Zulu-twist. The hall was massive and decorated to the nines with turquoise, silver, and white gossamer. Luckily we got there just in time for the whole thing to start, and only a few minutes after I took my seat at a table near the very front (with most of the other teachers from school) the bridesmaids started to come down the aisle. They were wearing matching turquoise dresses covered in feathers with silver high heels. And they didn’t just walk down the aisle, they danced a sort of cha-cha style dance that took something like five minutes per girl to make the trip while some extremely

The bride and groom wave to the crowd
as they walk down the aisle.

lively music played in the background. Once all four bridesmaids and the maid of honor had entered, the groomsmen took their turn. Then the bride and groom walked down the aisle together – and then than walked back up and down again, this time waving to everyone. There was a program of events on the table but I really don’t think we followed it. In no particular order, here are the things I remember most:

• Nearly every word that was spoken or sung was done so at the highest possible volume you could imagine.
• Because there was so much electricity being used for microphones and keyboards and lights, there was a fuse that kept blowing out, and they would repair it and then it would blow again. Eventually they figured out the maximum number of things that could be on at one time and still keep power.
• People would spontaneously come up to the front and dance to the music.

• There was a point when the bride and groom re-enacted the moment of the original proposal.
• At another point the two sat down at a small table in the front and signed paperwork while a special choir was singing.

• I think there were vows spoken.

• They definitely cut the cake and then made a big deal about presenting different layers of the cake to the bride and groom’s families.

• Someone gave a speech titled “words of wisdom” which lasted over an hour and I later came to find out included important tips like: always have a meal ready for your husband or else he will hire a cook who will be more beautiful than you and they will run away together. I got the translation from the young teacher at the school who had a scowl on her face during most of the speech. It was perhaps best that I could not understand most of what was going on.
• There was a request for donations from the audience – for any amount of money – then the music began playing (blaring really) and everyone in the hall got up and paraded to the front to drop cash in a basket. Just an idea for anyone out there planning a wedding.
• Things were going so late that the food service started before the whole ceremony was really over which made for just a little bit of chaos.
• The food was, no joke, pretty much the same as every other Zulu function I have been to. This is pretty much a one-menu sort of culture. Luckily it is a good menu and I enjoyed my chicken, beef, butternut, coleslaw, beetroot, green salad, bean salad, and potato salad dishes with fruit and cream dessert immensely.

Almost immediately people finished eating, the place was clearing out. We did anyway. I’m not sure if there was a big exit spectacle, but I do know that there was more to the ceremony at the groom’s house. But as it was getting late (it was about 5pm), and I would have no way home, I was never planning to be in attendance for that part. This was my end of the line. Which was good, because I was quite tired. I am, however, quite glad that I got a chance to see one “white wedding” in all its glory.