Happy Mother's Day

Like Valentine’s Day, I was a bit surprised to learn that Mother’s Day has also made its way to South Africa. And on the very same day, no less. I didn’t do much for my mother in America this year; I think I sent an email. But for my South African host my mom, I tried to show a bit more love and appreciation. I made a card, picked some wildflowers, and bought her a new headscarf. It doesn’t sound like much, but it was a pretty big deal when I presented everything yesterday afternoon.

Although my host mom and I occasionally have a difficult time communicating (she speaks less English than anyone I know), she has never been anything but kind and generous, and she is one of the hardest working people I know. She is the third of the three wives of my deceased host father and the mother of six girls, ages 22 to 4. 

My host sisters: Philile, Toe, Niki, Zama,
Kwanele, and Andile

In theory, if all six daughters get married, they would all move away with their husbands and she would be left alone. But the second daughter has stated adamantly on more than one occasion that she has no intention of getting married, and she will come back after finishing university to stay with mama until she is no longer needed. I guess only time will tell how that all works out.

When my host father passed away almost two years ago (more than a year before I arrived), it was left to my host mother to take care of everything: the family finances, the animals, the fields, the house, and the kids. To say it has been a struggle would be an understatement. The insurance money that the family was supposed to receive after my host father passed was just recently deposited into their account – nearly two years after the fact. In that time, they were not eligible to receive some of the same grant money that many others collected each month, and they worked to make ends meet by re-selling small bags of snacks and “airtime” out of their house. 

The fall maize harvest delivery being overseen by mama.

Mama tended to the garden to try to save where she could on buying vegetables, and she rented out the tractor and plow when the growing season started several months back. She made sure that the family’s own maize fields were plowed, planted, and harvested this season, and I saw her sorting and cleaning the maize nearly every evening for several weeks. Not a day passed that she was not working to be sure that everyone in the family was cared for and got what they needed.

To be honest, I have no idea if she is happy or not. When I visit my family each evening to help with homework and play games, I see her and she looks tired. But often, when I take another look, I see a faint smile across her face as she proudly watches over her girls. Perhaps it is just a “mom thing.”

Happy Mother’s Day to my South African mom, my American mom, and moms all over the world.